Call for submissions

I received another fine spam today, and I reproduce it verbatim, below. I invite any and all spoken word artists to record themselves reading this text, and to send me an mp3. I will broadcast it on WordSalad. Promise. This is Art. John Cage would agree, hmmmm?

“Those of you following the Twelve Days of Box Office columns realize that it is relatively simple to use past behavior to anticipate future performance at this time of the year. With Charlotte’s Web, Eragon and Happy Feet closer to the back of the pack, Night at the Museum should have enough of the family audience to turn it into a real hit over the next two weekends.
“Tree mail is brought back and tells the tribe to get in their boat, row to the biggest island and climb to the highest point.
1 million in domestic re What will they be talking about as the best 48 hours on the football calendar unfold? No matter how unbiased a person doing a mock claims to be, they are only human. City combat is more streamlined as well, with bombardment absolutely crucial now.
“examines the mystery behind what happened to this revolutionary vehicle and is a timely documentary entry as gas supplies dwindle and politicians threaten war in countries where oil is stockpiled. So, for the curious, here are the New Year’s weekend multipliers for the top ten films playing in theaters six years ago.
“5 million for the weekend, with much more to come as we enter the holiday box office gravy train. Check back in few weeks or so to see if I’ve decided to return from the dead. Some use the title of Dickens’ book; some use Scrooge’s name for their title; and some are variations of one or both.
“All you should care about with regards to these two titles is their holdover from Monday to Tuesday. Weisberger’s fictional alter ego is recent Brown graduate Andrea Sachs.
“5 million opening weekend before flaming out. Obviously, that is not normal box office behavior.
“The combination of him acting in a Linklater production based on a Dick concept is a tantalizing proposition. Hartnett, perhaps the weakest link of the main actors acquits himself why and shows that he is quite capable of both leading a movie and showing a believable range of emotions. Diesel tried to use the original’s financial success as a springboard to a much higher payday. 7 million from Tuesday to Thursday. With a hard-boiled story like this, you know it can’t end well for everyone. He is the first man to hold such a position for my team whose name I could say without including curse words to punctuate my feelings. Reeves will be playing the part of Fred, a government agent trying to be a narc. All you should care about with regards to these two titles is their holdover from Monday to Tuesday.
“Great for the crime fans in your family!

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